To Bitter Ends
by JeiGoWAY
Summary: The war is finally over with the help of the newly returned Ben Solo. The problem is that most of the galaxy do not differentiate between Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, and he cannot escape punishment for his actions. How can Rey come to terms with the fact that she brought Ben Solo back from the dark only to have him being wrenched away for good?


Kylo Ren has been sentenced to death, and with him, the newly returned Ben Solo. He is being executed, Rey reminds herself, to pay for his evil crimes against the galaxy. Despite his recent change of allegiance and actions on behalf of the resistance which ultimately influenced the outcome of the entire war, the majority of the people in charge of the new government share the belief of "Once a Sith, always a Sith".

They were right to a point. The light of Ben Solo may have won the battle this time around, however, that darkness of Kylo Ren lingers inside of him. She can see it in him even as she watches him blank-faced from where she stands at the foot of the execution platform. There was an anger boiling deep beneath the surface of his otherwise calm demeanor, yet the expression on his face showed the acceptance of his fate.

 _'He means nothing to me.'_

The thought rolled around in her head, distorting more and more each time it bounced of the wall of her skull. The words, thought quietly to herself, were hollow, empty, but she willed substance into them.

 _'He means nothing to me.'_

Her gaze never leaves him, as a few words are exchanged between him and some of the officials on the platform. It is to be a grand ceremony and "Kylo Ren" was not the only prisoner to be executed this day. He is led to kneel on his knees in the specified location. Next to him, forming a line, are General Hux, Captain Phasma, and two other high-ranking First Order survivors. To her surprise, every doomed man or woman kneeling up there, holds themselves in a quiet dignity as they await the commencement of the ceremony. Ben has closed his eyes and appears to be meditating.

' _He means nothing to me.'_

The phrase has become a mantra. It's almost drowned out by the rising noise level throughout the streets as civilians begin to gather. Rey tries to focus on the overwhelming aura of celebration. Today is the last step to mark of the end of the war, after all. Yet, she cannot feel the same joy as the people around her. There is an icy claw gripping her heart, and it has nothing to do with the cold winds picking up as the sun begins to set.

The lights around the platform flick on, and the fully gathered crowd cheers. It is time. Everyone has gathered, now, from government leaders on-stage wearing their ornate and pompous ceremonial apparel, to Rey and her master, Luke, in the front row, wearing their humble Jedi robes. Poe and Finn stood beside Luke. Leia had found her way to Rey's side just moments earlier, and she grabs the younger woman's hand in a firm grip. Rey's eyes glance down at their hands and then jump up to the woman's face to find her staring straight forward, watching the stage. One of the several lights flashes in their direction and illuminates them. In that split second, Rey sees how the light reflects the pooling moisture in the general's eyes. Rey snaps her head forward as she feels her throat constrict. Eyes back on Ben, she gives a tight squeeze to the warmth being shared to her hand.

' _He means nothing to me.'_

Rey had been pretending that she hadn't accidentally witnessed the scene between mother and son that day they got back from the final mission that ended the war. Now, it's all she can think about. The way the general's voice had broken as she spoke softly to her son, "I… _we_ never stopped loving you, Ben." The way he had choked out a sob and wrapped his arms around his comparatively tiny mother.. It hadn't been her place to see that, but seen it she had. How long can she keep lying to herself?

' _He means nothing to me.'_

A particularly loud cheer from the crowd snatches Rey from her reverie. They have been rallied and are now booing at the five prisoners and yelling out insults. Screams of "scum!" and "murderers!" are pointed at them, but Rey also hears calls of "traitor!" which can only be directed towards one of the five up there. As it continues, Rey watches Ben as he seemingly carelessly brings his cuffed hands up to brush away his dark locks from his eyes. Her heart twinges for him. For she has come to recognize this as a habit of his when he's anxious.

' _He means nothing to me'_

She knows that the actions of Kylo Ren are far deserving of this punishment, but the man up there is Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. Not anymore. Unfortunately, she is the only one who sees it that way. Well, not the only one, but apparently the pleadings of more than a handful of war heroes isn't enough to change the minds of a court, hungry to set an example with their prisoners.

They stand, or in some cases kneel, through a speech about the wickedness of the First Order and the Sith and about the peace that is promised from here on out. Rey has to compress a groan at every mention of the "hard-fought war" coming out of the mouth of this politician who had never seen a battle, never lost a comfort to the war. She tries to convince herself that she _is not bitter_ towards the people standing on that stage for their decision about Ben.

' _He means nothing to me.'_

The calls from the crowd are beginning to become laced with variations of "Finish it!" and "End them!" The speech is wrapping up and the mantra inside her head has gone up in pitch as the executioner steps forward. They will waste no time. The big fish goes first, which means they will start with their defeated "Sith lord"

' _He means nothing to me.'_

Rey wraps her arms around her torso inside her cloak. It's a cold evening, but that has hardly anything to do with the impulsive action. She almost flinches as her right pinky finger brushes against something cold and metallic at her hip. It takes her a second to recognize it. Time slows to a halt. Her eyes trace the slow path of the executioner. Meanwhile, her fingers graze a trail up and down the edge of the lightsaber on her belt.

Her tiny movements come to an abrupt halt as Ben 's face turns sharply in her direction. Up until this point, he had clearly been looking everywhere but at her. After a moment, she's sure. She doesn't know how he can see her with all that light shining on him, but he's looking straight at her. Not his mother. Not Luke Skywalker. Her. He gives her a minuscule shake of his head. Whether he's aware or not, Rey watches as the executioner lifts his blade behind him.

Her fingers lose contact with her saber as her lips part and a single desperate thought launches itself towards him through the force. He closes his eyes.

' _ **Ben!'**_

The blade falls.

' _He is everything to me.'_

* * *

 **Author's note:** Thank you for reading!

I may write more to this. We'll see how this goes. ;)


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